Why Do Guys Stop Talking to You After You Reject Them

Why Do Guys Stop Talking to You After You Reject Them

Why do guys ask how far you’ve gone? Did you recently reject a guy’s advance because he asks about your body count?

If not, let’s see what other scenario that was played out.

So, your guy friend finally confesses his deep feelings for you. Unfortunately, you don’t feel the same.

You let him down easily, thinking that you can still maintain the friendship.

Instead, he stops talking to you. Worst yet, the guy ignores you after rejection.

Like the good friend that you are, you reach out but he doesn’t take your calls or respond to your messages.

What the hell gives?

Ladies, this happens many times in the dating and friendship world. It has even happened to me.

I had a guy friend confess his love for me, I told him I wasn’t attracted to him in that way.  He disappeared without a trace….basically, he stopped pursuing me after I rejected him.

I was very confused. I asked another friend for advice hoping they could give me some insight.

The wiser friend told me; he stopped talking to me because I rejected him.

Wait…. what? Come again.

“No matter how easy you let a guy ‘down’, it is still classified as rejection,” he would say plainly.

From my perspective, I didn’t see it that way. I did nothing wrong.

In the next few days following that conversation, I tried to explain to my guy friend (the one I rejected) why I didn’t feel the same. 

It made things worse. 

The discussion exploded and he eventually stopped talking to me completely. And once he did that, I finally understood why he disappeared.

I rejected him and in return, he rejected me and I felt miserable. I didn’t know that something like this would jeopardize our friendship.

I needed a redo! 

Ultimately, I had to let him be and that meant being okay with him removing himself from my life. I had to accept his decision.

Let’s face it, rejection hurts. In fact, rejection hurts like hell.

Both women and men fear rejection, but men are terrified of it. And sometimes men don’t take rejection well and may retaliate.

I know what you are thinking, I didn’t reject our friendship!!!

Listen, I’m not blaming you. Hear me out….

Your guy friend didn’t want to be just friends!

He wanted to be Mr. Darcy and you Elizabeth: he wanted you guys to be the End Game. 

You were his dream girl . 

The best thing he could do besides be rude to you was to ignore you.

And honestly….

He may never talk to you again. That is his prerogative and you have to respect that.

Society tends to think that rejecting a guy only bruises his ego, but men have feelings. You broke his heart.

He may never admit it.

What to do if he ignores you or worse blocks you

 He blocked me after I rejected him.  You probably have gone through this before, or heard it from one of your friends.

You gotta’ keep living.

I know this sounds cliché, but it is true. Move on.

Do not under any circumstances stalk his social media account or make another social media account to stalk him. You are not a teenager anymore.

In other words, chill. Let the universe take its course.

If you care about him, you must give him space to accept your rejection. He may go through cycles of anger, grief, blaming you, or self-blaming.   

Allow him to feel by respecting his boundaries.

If you guys were close friends, he may need more time. During this time, you may also find you need space too.

Taking a break and creating space will help clarify things between the both of you. If you truly have a friendship, then you guys will find a way back to each other.

If not, then lesson learned. 

During this time of clarity, you will have the time to think about the real reason why you rejected him.

Keep in mind you may miss him or miss the attention he once gave you. It is normal to miss people who were once part of your life.

You may even feel tempted to contact him. 

DO NOT.

Sending out mixed signals is not cool and will only cause more confusion and awkwardness. 

Allow your feelings to come to the surface. Don’t judge them and don’t suppress them either. 

To help you begin assessing your feelings, ask yourself these four questions:

Answer these questions truthfully and honestly.  Once you have done this, now you can determine if this friendship is worth saving.

More on this later. 

To keep your mind off the situation, stay busy.

Pick up a hobby like roller skating or gardening. Stay away from Netflix binging and social media binging for a while.

Why?

Because your brain needs to be active, you might run across a scene or a post that reminds you of him. Then you will have the urge to reach out and go back down the rabbit hole.  

If you find yourself really missing him, you may need to pivot.

Could it be you rejected him because you were afraid or nervous?

 If this is the case you need to contact him ASAP and tell him you made a mistake.

If you take nothing else from this article, remember this:

Honesty is the best policy.

To avoid sticky situations like these in the future, you must build relationships off of honesty and respect. Don’t start talking to a guy because you are lonely, bored, or horny while calling it something it is not.

That is what little girls do. You are a grown woman.

As a grown woman, you are free to choose any type of relationship you want. Make sure you are upfront with the person you are sharing feelings with.

Remember those four questions I had you answer? This is the time where you take responsibility for the signals you sent out in the friendship.

This is also the time for him to take some responsibility as well. It takes two to tango.

End

You can’t harp on the past, but what you can do is make better choices in the future.

The next time you meet a guy and you friend-zoned him, don’t keep him around if he isn’t okay with being just friends.

Tell him upfront what you want from him and show it in action.

Own what you say and what you do.

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