How Many Dates Before Inviting Him Over

Or, What’s The Perfect Number Of Dates Before You Invite Him Over?

Almost every professional woman has wondered about how many dates are ideal/perfect before you invite that special person over to your place?

 Firstly – setting a hard and fast number is extremely challenging – and perfection is in the eye of the beholder.  There are playbooks that attempt to answer this question, but the answer should be based on emotion, circumstance and just how good a fit that potentially significant other is for you.

Of course one should always factor in trust and safety before taking that next big step.

However, inviting him over after that first date might be premature. You’re still going to be feeling each other out (and not perhaps in that way).

You need to know a little more about what you are dealing with. First dates are usually only preliminary to what might be a longer-term commitment. Is there that little bit of magic? Does he make you smile? Does he have a steady job? Kids? Is he on the rebound?

Think of that first date as a job interview – and, make no mistake if the relationship is going to progress it’s going to take the same commitment that a professional woman has to her career. Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy.

 By the third date, you should have a fairly good idea if that person is the right fit for your unique personality and circumstances.  This may be time to raise the issue of dinner or an evening watching great movies at your place. But remember this is still the courting stage.

Before inviting a stranger over, I hope you have your fun dates out of the way. If not, the idea of Do Guys Like Picnics as a date topic is worth considering.

Indeed, your home is your safe haven. It’s also where you should be as comfortable as possible with the company and the surroundings. That first invite to your safe place relies heavily on how much you trust the other party.

Also, remember that inviting him over for dinner does not imply anything else as far as after-dinner activities are concerned. Make sure that you make your boundaries clear to the person that you will be spending the evening with.

That’s not to say that more intimate activities are out of the question – but there has to be an understanding that is not the end result that is promised.

Now, hypothetically if that third date in the comfort and safety of your own home leads to you having a really great time. Then you can make inviting him over to your place into a regular occurrence. However, he should be doing the same.

There’s another question that you should be (subtly) asking at that first or second date – does he have his own place?

Should you hold off on inviting him over to say the 8th time that you get together? It’s worth revisiting the idea that it’s entirely up to you, where you are emotionally, and your expectations.

The danger of waiting for that first invite over to your place is that he begins to think you are playing hard to get. There’s nothing wrong with that approach – but communicate about that.

Communication is the key to any successful relationship – start off well and you’ll have a far better chance of forming a lasting relationship – and weathering those almost inevitable challenging times.

To recap: People are individuals. The way that your relationship will prosper is to manage expectations and communicate. However, make sure that you are comfortable and safe – and that you trust that person.

Also, remember that as a professional woman you have worked hard to build up your life to a certain level.

Make sure that the person you are with shares your interests and your life goals. Those interests should not only really on physical intimacy (unless that is what you want out of a relationship – no judgment).

Emotional intelligence is as important, if not more important as physical compatibility.

 Protect your emotional wellbeing . This does not mean cutting yourself off – just remember if you are pressured and make the wrong decision it can have long-lasting consequences.

 Be true to yourself   – don’t stick to some sort of schedule set by so-called experts. Be true to yourself and you will be true to the other individual.

 Lastly – have fun . Be safe. And remember, life can be short and a relationship can be immensely rewarding. Make the most of your time.

Frequently Asked Questions