How to Ask a Guy Out on a Third Date

Okay, so date one went great. There was nervousness, laughing, and shared jokes, the guy turned out to be a total gentleman. 

Date two, went just as well, maybe this time y’all went out and just watched a movie, or out to the county fair, you know had fun.

Some time has passed, and you haven’t heard anything about date three, so as a guy I wanna give you some insider tips on how to ask a guy out on a third date.

Don’t jump into thinking on how to invite yourself over to his house if you haven’t gotten a good feel about him yet.

Dealing with Nervous Butterflies

I remember what it was like to deal with butterflies, especially those of the nervous sort. When you just get so hung up on a person that it even stops you from calling or texting them. Like, “Oh my God, what if I say the wrong thing?”

So you end up asking yourself, will he ask me out on a third date?

I’m seriously chuckling to myself right now. For guys, this is an advanced level tactic for most guys when it comes to dating. The nervousness you are feeling right now is manufactured in a lot of cases.

Especially if the first two dates are great. 

See, going for the first girl that shows you interest is a prelude for bad times. Without the mental chess game, any relationship is bound to be one-sided.

The last thing you want to do is get wrapped up with a dude, or gal, who has a lack of self-control when it comes to something as serious as a relationship.

Losing control over good chocolate is acceptable, but with a relationship, not so much. So, if a few days go by, and you find yourself thinking or saying, he hasn’t asked me on a third date.

He’s probably testing you. Most of the time a guy isn’t going to make it to a second date if he didn’t find some kind of chemistry with you. So if you get radio silence by the time date three come around.

Either you dropped the ball, or he’s waiting on you to pick up the phone and assert yourself.

 Guys like to feel wanted by a woman just as much as men like to feel wanted by a man.  This is simply a fact of human courtship. So he’s just waiting to see if you are going to make the move. 

So stop being a chicken and pick up that phone, and set up a date. In my experience, date three is what’s gonna set up that long-term connection that evolves into beautiful memories and experiences.

Sink your teeth in girl! Go for the kill already!

Additionally, just to assuage any doubts, you have nothing to worry about if you have been texting between second and third date.

At that point, that ball is clearly in your court girl. If you drop it or throw it away, that’s on you.

Just to refresh on how to have the 3rd date conversation:

Practice some Finesse

Alright, so now that I have hopefully given you the confidence to go ahead and reach out to the lucky guy that’s captured your attention. Especially to the degree that you went and looked up an article about how to ask a guy on a third date.

Let’s cover some tactics girls have used on me to keep them at the forefront of my mind.

So, there was this girl in college, we used to party all the time within the same group of friends. However, we only bounced into each other occasionally. 

One night came to pass where we were all drunk and just talking about life as most of the party-goers were leaving in two’s or three’s, This girl was flying solo that night and came outside to smoke a cigarette while I was outside doing the same thing.

I was trying to do that loner, cool guy, thing. Go ahead and laugh, it worked.

Anyways, we had a great conversation while trading shots from a vodka bottle, and I had told her I was going to college an hour away for EMT classes.

She asked me what day, and I told her.

The night ended rather uneventfully, my roommates and I picking up after the crowd and heading to bed.

Fast forward a few weeks, and I go to get into my car to head to class, and I find a handwritten letter and twenty bucks in my cupholder, telling me to have a good day and not to forget to eat lunch.

I was hooked. Hopelessly.

So we went out to a concert and had dinner once, and unfortunately, I ended up having to move to be closer to school to make it work out financially.

So, again, fast forward a few weeks and we hadn’t been talking, and one day I get a text from her in the mid-afternoon saying “I miss you.”

By the end of the night, I had driven an hour with no money to my name to be in her dorm room talking the night away and then some.

That kitten had some serious claws y’all.

Meow.

So, all that being said.  Do not ever underestimate the power of patience.  Merely just giving yourself a few days or weeks to talk to a guy that you are interested in might be worth more than all the texting in between.

As a matter of fact, I just texted her, 10 years after all that, to tell her that I’m spilling all her cougar secrets. Clearly, it was so effective I still have her number.

She’s not a cougar, she’s a kitten. So very tiny. I don’t even know how she uses doorknobs with hands that small.

She’d sue me if she knew my address.

So, use your time between second and third date wisely. It can lead to great rewards.

Don’t be Scared to be Assertive

Okay, so while college kitten girl used her pre-cougar daring to play with my attention and heartstrings, you can also do the same thing by simply asserting yourself.

As it so happens, I like both.

So if you have questions about how to ask for a third date, the sky is the limit. 

For instance, a few years ago I was really down on my luck. I had been traveling across the country, just fresh out of a shit one-sided relationship like a bat out of hell.

I was heading to the PNW to just get out of the South when my car broke down. As luck would have it, I ended up breaking down within thirty miles of a friend’s place. So I got a job at a local salon to fix my car.

One of the younger servers, younger than me by 9 years started asking questions about me and went out of her way to get my attention. I wasn’t having any of it, I was there to get out.

Then I dropped my phone walking to work and she found out. So this girl left her job and went to Walmart and bought a phone with service to give me. 

She had put her number in the phone she gave me.

That was two years ago.

And in five days, with this writing as my only form of income, I’m going back to WI, and I’m beyond excited to see her again.

So if that doesn’t show you how being assertive can play out to your advantage I don’t know what will. That girl went out of her way to make sure that I was taken care of in one of the most vulnerable periods of my life.

It made such an impression on me that I can honestly say I haven’t loved someone like that since I was in high school. 

So don’t be scared to stick your neck out there and take a plunge. 

The Dreaded Situation

Okay, so when it comes to the worst-case situations, I want to cover some of the signs there will be no third date.

Say you have date one or date two, and you happen to notice:

These are all bad signsthat this simply just isn’t going to work out. If you try to force it and you two somehow do end up in a relationship, it probably isn’t going to end pretty.

That is based on science. Look up the “ psychological technique of thin slicing .”

Which is a technique used by many professional relationship therapists.

That being said, use it very very sparingly, it can ruin your relationship with people. Psychology is a double edge sword at times.

Frequently Asked Questions