I Accidentally Slept With a Married Man – What Do I Do?

I Accidentally Slept With a Married Man

Is it really an accident, or did you know that he was married and decided to go ahead with it?

Let’s break it down. 

To start with, you don’t accidentally sleep with someone.

It’s either you consented to it, or you didn’t.

However, it can be an accident if you didn’t know that he was a married man and you found out after the sex.

If you consented to the sex, then it’s not an accident; It was premeditated.

You woke up in the morning, dressed up, and decided to give yourself a treat with a married man.

Of course, you might have your reasons for the action, but it was no accident. 

On the other hand, if you did not consent to the sex, it is not an ‘accident’ like it means in this situation, and it should be reported immediately.

Now, let’s assume that you had no idea that the man was married in this case.

Sleeping with him was no accident but not knowing that he’s married can be an accident. 

You met him on a dating site or an occasion, exchanged contact with him.

You guys got talking, and you enjoyed every conversation.

But he didn’t think it necessary to mention that he was married. 

When you thought you knew him enough to be with him, you decided to take the friendship to a whole new level. You decided to meet him and see what happens from there.

It was probably after you had slept with him that you saw the wedding ring and started asking questions or something else you noticed that made you know the truth about his marital status.

I want you to know that it’s not your fault that you didn’t see the signs.

Blaming yourself will not change what happened.

It will only make you feel bad about yourself, and you don’t need that feeling at this point. 

A question I know you will be pondering over is, “Can I sleep with a married man?”.

Our cultural and religious beliefs will not allow you to sleep with a married man because it is considered an evil act towards the man’s wife and family.

So I will agree with these beliefs and say, “No, you cannot sleep with a married man”.

I’m sure you know this already, and that’s why you consider it an accident because you had no idea he was married. 

What Happens When I Sleep with a Married Man?

The next question that might be running through your mind right now is, “What happens if you sleep with a married man?”

Well, the first thing that will happen is the guilty conscienceyou will feel. 

As the decent person you are, you had no intention of hurting another woman and ruining her family, so yes, you will feel bad about your actions.

However, I want you to know that it’s not your fault.

You had no idea that the man was married. 

This also can occur: after satisfying each other’s lust, he ghosted me after sleeping with me.

Besides your guilty conscience, the man’s wife might discover what happened and come for you.

I’ve seen scenarios where wives hunt down their husband’s mistresses and either beg them to leave their husbands or try to hurt them. 

Again, it is not your fault that you slept with the man because you didn’t know he was married. 

Late last year, a colleague of mine walked into the office looking glum.

I’m the type that minds my business until the information is shared with me, but she looked too sad, which is unlike her.

This colleague of mine is a jovial person that hardly frowns her face, but she wasn’t just frowning today; she was sad.

During our lunch break, I walked up to her and asked her what was wrong with her.

Everybody in the company has grown to like and trust me, so it wasn’t hard for her to share. “I slept with a married man; what can I do?” she whispered into my ears.

I wasn’t shocked at the revelation because I’ve heard worse things happen. 

I was shocked that someone like her would make such a mistake.

She then told me about how she had no idea he was a married man.

She even did her due diligence by searching for him online to find out more about him, but there was nothing indicating that he was married. 

It was after she had slept with him, she saw a notification pop up on his phone while he was freshening up.

The message read that his son was asking after him, and he needed to be at home.

My colleague questioned him immediately when he got out of the bathroom, and he confessed to having a wife and a son.

She was devastated because she had broken one of her top rules, but the deed had been done already.

This was what I said to her at the eatery.

The deed has been done, and she has to move on. 

 The best thing to do if you find yourself in a situation like this is to make amends and avoid such mistakes in the future.  

Many women who find themselves in situations like this would be confused about informing the wife’s man or not, and I know that you might be disturbed about this too. 

It is ok to want to do the right thing by telling the wife, but you need to carefully ask yourself if it is something you want to do.

Not many women need to know what their husbands are doing because it might ruin them, but some women deserve the truth.

Revealing the truth about your affair with a married man depends on you and how much you can endure. 

If your case is not like the one I’ve described above, then there is more to discuss.

You probably didn’t sleep with the married man by accident, and you keep asking yourself, “Why am I sleeping with a married man?”

Sometimes, we can’t control who we get attracted to.

The relationship must have started out as an accident, but you enjoyed every moment and decided to continue with it, promising yourself that you would stop every day. 

Things to Know Before Sleeping With a Married Man

There are no rules for sleeping with a married man because most people get into it by accident, like in your case, and they don’t prepare or make rules for the relationship. 

However, there are situations where the woman falls in love with the married man and wants to build something with him.

This situation is quite risky because the man can either share the same feelings with you or want to lead you on. 

It would be your job to ensure that you are not going to get hurt along the line.

This might sound very blunt, but they are things you should know before you walk into a relationship with a married man.

  • The married man won’t leave his wife for you.
  • You will live with the fear of someone finding out about the affair every day.
  • You will not have the man to yourself completely.
  • He will always put his family before you.
  • If he eventually leaves his wife, he might not trust you enough to marry you.


Sleeping with a married man accidentally can happen to just anybody.

It is not your fault that you were deceived into the relationship, and you should not beat yourself over it. 

However, it is your duty to ensure that the relationship doesn’t continue because, at the end of the day, you might end up hurting yourself.

There are relationship experts and therapists who can help you regain your self-esteem and get rid of the guilt associated with the mistake.

It would do you well if you consulted one. 

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