How to initiate physical contact with a shy guy?
Dating a shy guy can be very interesting, especially when you are sure that you are the only woman that the guy is seeing.
Unless you totally don’t find him attractive, you might end up having a brother-sister kind of relationship.
It is unlikely that a shy guy will make any physical move towards you.
Unfortunately, modern men are conditioned to NOT hit on women because of the feminist drama and sexual harassment laws at work.Don’t mistake his silent tendency for being standoffish.
He’s your type and he respects your boundaries. Very likely, he is waiting for you to make the first move.
There’s have to be a way to dissolve his tough love-shy shell.
Having read many stories about relationships and marriage, I did not know what to do with this shy man who seemed to love me but made no move.
The self-help dating books I was reading then emphasized that a man always knows what he wants and that if you show more interest, the man will get pissed off and so draw away his attention.
I thought I loved this guy and never wanted to lose him.
On his end, he could also look interested but would not make a physical advancement towards me.
Well, I guess you want to know what I did. Wait..the man is my ten years husband today.
Here are some of the strategies I used to initiate the physical contact:
Tip 1 Ask him for help
Men are naturally wired to help women. They feel good about it.
I got his attention by always trying to ask for help. I got him to fix my car, replace my bulb, and fix my sink and many more. Not all the time did I not know how to fix my life!
All I wanted was to make him engaged in my life. I tried so hard not to let him know that I could do some of those things independently.
I remember one of the days I had to wait for him for two days just to come and fix my sink.
I could read from his face that he felt important.
Any man would want to solve problems for women. It makes them feel like you need them in their lives.
And if a well-learned woman can depend on them, who are they to boycott from the scene?
Tip 2 Find out his most preferred way of communication and stick to it
Shy guys have their unique ways of communicating. It is your responsibility to know what they prefer most. In most cases, shy men use body language for communication.
My guy then would communicate with nobody. The most amazing thing is that he expected me to get the gestures and respond.
When I realized that that was what he was, I gladly accepted and joined him in the body language.
Before long, I walked down the aisle as I was the woman of his choice.
Never insist on being loud to a shy guy. Your high voice will turn him off, and so you end up losing him.
One of the body languages that you should keep remembering is that you must look presentable. This will make him feel more connected to you, and so before you realize it, you will have done it.
If he’s into texting, send him a flirty text message to let him know how the date goes.
The main thing is to put him at ease, and gives him the confidence to maybe make a move on you later.
Tip 3 Ask open-ended questions
Asking open-ended questions helps in making the guy open up to tell you more about himself.
Open-ended questions are the type of questions that allows the respondent to respond by explaining themselves.
If you ask the closed-ended question, you can be sure that a shy guy will say yes or no and can quickly dissolve any further conversation you want to explore with him.Don’t ask if he’s bored. Get him engaged and talk to him about anything.
He will soon become comfortable to open up himself.
Shy guys can be all cute and romantic but not manipulative and good with conversations.
As you ask the open-ended questions, ensure that you don’t ask too many questions that would alert the man that you want to know too much about him within a short period.
In most cases, he will always ask you about your side of the answer to your question.
You should be ready to answer with some openness, at least to encourage him to keep opening up.
Tip 4 Make physical contact with him.
This move should not come too early. Dating a shy guy with no experience takes patience and it can worth the wait.
Once you have had several meetings and a lot of time spent together, it is now time to try physical contact.
Try hugging him a few seconds longer and be keen on his reaction. He will begin to enjoy the physical closeness.
As a woman, you will know what his reactions mean.
You could be wondering how on earth you are going to offer a hug. Well, when you are done talking, instead of bidding him a bye, you can hug him.
If he likes you, he will embrace the hug and wait for the next one since he could be the one eagerly waiting for the first hug.Physical contact has scientifically been proven to be a great bonding strategy. It releases oxytocin, a bonding hormone, so the man will feel closer and start moving towards you.
While flirting with him, you can try touching his arm lightly. After the first hug, you can give three other hugs and affectionate gestures that you need a kiss.
Tease him a bit while you are with him. This further gives him permission to make a move on you – holding your hands or kissing you.
Tip 5 Dim light during sex
If the hug goes well and probably a kiss, you could be sure that he is looking forward to a chance to make love with you.
Do not let this opportunity bypass you if at all you love him. Avail yourself for dinner with him or a house visit.
Once you notice a chance for first sex, you can dim the light of even put them off and allow the man to grab your body to satisfaction.
Even with dim light, keep in mind that the guy is not experienced. Therefore, you can allow him to enjoy the basic sex position like the missionary style.
Don’t scare him with other sophisticated styles that will make him feel inferior. After all, you have time to grow together in love.
Once you find something you love to do or talk together, it is easy to make the first move and maybe give him the first kiss.
If he responds positively to the moves you make, it can empower him to be more self-confident.You might not know it – he can make the first move on you if he’s really interested!
Frequently Asked Questions:
Do shy guys ever make the first move?
Rarely do they make the first move. They fear being denied the opportunity and so will wait for the woman to make the first move.
Do guys like it when girls make the first move?
Most guys do not like when girls make the first move. They feel inferior if first approached. The shy ones will like it as it is a simple way of solving a very complicated equation for them.
How do you make a shy guy comfortable?
Very simple, understand them and take them on a slow journey of love. Please do not dwell on their shyness. Also, do not make them feel as though they have a given problem.