I Dated a Workaholic for 7 Years – This Is Why It Didn’t Work
After seven years, I finally confronted my workaholic boyfriend.
The conversation did not go well.
Days had gone by, and he hadn’t come home. I’d had enough.
I was angry! I felt alone and betrayed, and I didn’t understand where the problem was really coming from.
It had been more than a year since we’d slept together. We barely even talked to one another anymore.
Is my boyfriend losing interest in me sexually?
I’d planned what I was going to say to him over and over in my head. I wanted to let him know how I felt, that I wasn’t happy anymore.
I wanted him to know the pain he was causing me.
The first conversation we had in months was the last fight of our relationship.
If I could live that moment again, I would have done so many things differently.
How can you learn from my mistakes and strengthen your relationship?
Is it possible for the two of you to come away stronger than you were before?
Let’s face it: dating a workaholic is not easy.
My boyfriend was always working, and I was lonely.
Those years were filled with nights spent alone, dinners for one, and a cold bed.
At the end of our relationship, he hardly ever came home at all. He would sleep at his desk or in his car, and when he was home, his eyes were either shut or glued to the screen of his laptop.
I was hurt, confused, and jealous. How could my boyfriend choose work over me?
Looking back, when I confronted him about how much he was working, I was attacking him and not the problem.
So, where do you start if you want to come to your boyfriend about working too much?
Is It Worth Dating a Workaholic?
First, be honest with yourself about what you want out of a relationship and what you want for your life.
When we moved in together, I was the type of girlfriend who wanted my man to be the first thing I saw every morning and the last thing I saw before I went to sleep.
Taking our relationship to the next level was supposed to be breathtaking. Instead, I found out why he rescheduled our dates so often and why he always seemed so distracted when we were together.
This was more than a healthy amount of space.
How could I fall for someone who loved their work more than anything else?
I realized that he treated me like a project before we lived together. Every date had to be planned out and executed like a presentation.
When he had control over when we spent time together, he was sweet, thoughtful, and made me feel special.
He was the perfect photocopy of what a boyfriend should be.
I didn’t know how he was spending all his time when we were apart. I didn’t know that I was his side piece.
I had to come to terms with the fact that my boyfriend was obsessed with work.
I was caught in an inanimate love triangle. I was jealous of computer screens and stacks of paper.
Was it all worth it? Do I regret dating him?
I believe that dating a workaholic made me a more independent woman, but I also felt neglected.
Pain and hardship can teach you things about yourself you would never have known.
I had to decide for myself to stand up for what I wanted.
Can Working Too Much Ruin a Relationship?
Everyone has their own unique love language. Recognizing yours will help you know if you can handle a boyfriend who works too much and doesn’t have time for you.
Living with and loving a man who puts his work first will leave you with a lot of time to yourself. If you value lots of quality time and physical touch, there’s an important question you need to ask yourself.
“Is him working too much affecting our relationship?”
Seeing the signs early and promptly communicating your feelings is the best thing to do.
Your truth should be heard. Don’t apologize for being honest with your boyfriend and yourself.
I would get sad when my boyfriend told me he was busy.
I heard those words so often, yet it still hurt every time.
The truth was that my boyfriend put work before me.
For our entire relationship, he chose to put me second.
The way he acted made me confused and uncertain of my worth. It was as though I’d lost sight of myself.
Was I not good enough for him? Could I have been a better girlfriend?
Above all else, you need to know that it’s not your fault.
My boyfriend was a workaholic.
There was a lot I had to learn, and I had to deal with a lot of pain.
I didn’t understand why he’d always stay late at the office. I didn’t know that, for him, it was a compulsion.
Being a workaholic can be an uncontrollable impulse, an illness like any other addiction.
Just because they’re sick doesn’t make you obligated to stay with them, and it doesn’t excuse all of their behavior.
Your happiness is important. Your feelings matter.
Can your relationship be saved? Is it even worth saving?
How Do I Deal With My Boyfriend Always Working?
Even if you can get through to him, his behavior won’t change overnight.
Unless his excuse of overworking means cheating on you, learn how to get over your boyfriend sleeping with someone else.
How do you manage to live with a workaholic?
Try and get out of the house regularly. Even a daily trip to the grocery store can be enough socialization to offset what he can’t give you.
In a relationship, it’s not uncommon to lean on your partner for emotional support and social interaction.
Being with a partner who is unable or unwilling to fulfill these needs requires you to find satisfaction in other places.
Going out and doing things for yourself only gets easier as you become more independent.
You don’t have to miss out, you just have to go out!
When you’re in a long-term relationship, you may expect to share everything with your partner.
It’s vital to retain your individuality and hang on to activities and routines that are meaningful to you.
How do you do things for yourself if your relationship has made you lose sight of your interests?
Finding yourself again isn’t easy, but you have to start somewhere.
Try new things, go new places, find your identity through experimentation.
No matter how hard finding yourself may seem, never give up!
There is no shame in taking yourself out to dinner or the movies.
Buy yourself something nice, be spontaneous!
Being loved by someone else feels good, but loving yourself, knowing your worth, and being comfortable alone feels fantastic.
It’s not selfish or narcissistic. Treating yourself to the things you want in life isn’t just normal; it’s necessary.
Set a day of the week that you take yourself out.
My night was Wednesday. My favorite bar held a karaoke night, and I’d go all by myself and have a drink and sing my heart out!
It wasn’t lonely. I didn’t feel sad.
It was empowering to be all I needed and not rely on anyone else to have a good time.
How to Tell Your Boyfriend You Feel Left Out
How do you tell your workaholic boyfriend you want him to spend more time with you?
Communication is key. It’s a cliché for a reason!
But what good is the key if you don’t know what lock to use it on?
Coming to your man with a tough conversation can feel like navigating a minefield with nothing but your thoughts and feelings.
Which steps are safe? Which paths lead to an explosion?
My boyfriend was always busy, and I missed him. I missed us.
I longed to be who we were together again, and I felt left out of my boyfriend’s life.
When I confronted him, my words were coming from a place of anger towards him.
I was attacking him instead of the problem.
How do you level yourself off to avoid starting a fight with your boyfriend?
Be prepared! Before you can better your relationship, you need to be right, tight, and in love with yourself !
Don’t lose sight of what you want for your life. Don’t settle and compromise your own happiness.
What kind of person do you want to be with? Are you willing to make sacrifices for someone truly special?
Committing to a busy, fast-paced person takes a lot of strength, patience, and understanding.
Trust your heart and listen to your gut.
Tell your boyfriend how you feel about him working all the time and listen to his response.
Remember: love is not a one-way street. Both of you need to work together for a lasting, loving relationship.
My boyfriend was a workaholic, but my reaction ended our relationship.
Can your reaction be different?