This Is Why Would a Guy Initiate a Hug

Why Would a Guy Initiate a Hug

We all know the feeling at the end of the date.

Do you hug?

Do you kiss?

Do you shake hands and hope to meet again?

 What is he thinking?  

What does he want?

What do you want?

This guide will go over everything you need to know about hugging and what it means if a guy hugs you, or if that hug turns into something more… 

When a Guy Hugs You Goodbye

Hugs can be tricky.

Culturally, hugs aren’t purely a romantic action.

You hug friends and family in greeting as well as a romantic partner.

Due to this, it can be tricky to know if a hug on a first date means that there will be a second date.

If you are lucky enough, you might want to learn how to ask a guy out on a third date.

Understanding his body language, the type of hug, the length of the hug, and his actions following the hug.

When a guy wants to hug you, you’ll be able to tell.

Let’s set the scene: 

You and your new fling have just finished your first date.

It was a classic: drinks, dinner, and movie, you even held hands!

Now, the two of you are standing outside your car and you’re wondering: will he initiate a hug…or better yet a kiss?

This is a crucial question.

The vibes he gives off will tell you everything you need to know about your future with this man. 

If he wants to hug you, he may stall before leaving the date or find ways to continue the conversation even though you are already standing by your car.

If he’s really nervous, you may need to initiate a hug.

However, if he initiates a hug, you’ll have some insight into what is happening inside his head. 

Here are four types of hugs that could tell you what he is feeling:
  • The One Arm Hug:

Unfortunately, your chances of a second date are looking slim.

Even when a guy initiates a one-armed hug, these types of hugs are generally considered pretty platonic.

There are some hopeful signs, however.

If he seems nervous and in awe of your jaw-dropping beauty, a one-armed hug might just be his nerves and he actually wants to go all in.

However, if he doesn’t make any eye contact and seems distracted, this man might not be the one.

If he follows the hug up with a kiss, you’ll probably get a second date, but if he immediately gets on his phone or walks away, you’ll want to keep swiping on the dating apps.

 Overall, a one-arm hug is most likely platonic and this guy doesn’t view you as a romantic option.  

  • Hug with Both Arms: 

This is the best hug to receive and also to analyze.

When a guy hugs you with both arms, there is a good chance he likes you.

The question is: how much does he like you?

If this hug is quick with little eye contact, this is probably just a friendlier variation of the one-arm hug.

However, if he looks straight into your eyes as he leans in, he probably wanted to kiss you.

Pressure is another factor to consider with both arms hug.

If he squeezes tight and holds on, he is definitely very into you.

However, if he hugs you and it feels very limp with no pressure, this could be more platonic.

What about a long hug?

What does a long hug mean?

Well, with both arm hug, a long hug would definitely mean he has some feelings.

The magic combination of both arms hug is if he a) makes eye contact as he leans in b) squeezes you tight 3) lets the hug last without it becoming uncomfortably long.

 These are all signs that he wants to hug and kiss you, so you should probably lean in! 

  • The Bro Hug

Unfortunately, if he initiates “the bro hug”, you have absolutely no shot at a second date.

This is so undeniably platonic, you are literally one of the guys.

A “Bro Hug” is unmistakable.

He will lean in, grab your hand in a strange fist bump twist, pull you against his chest, quick release, and thump you on the back.

The whole interaction will feel awkward and disappointing.

 Move on, my girl, he is definitely not interested in you.  

  • The Bum Grab Hug

What does it mean when a guy grabs your bum while hugging?

Or, what does it mean when a guy touches your breast while kissing?

Well, this means he is definitely into you and probably wants more than just a kiss goodnight.

However, this type of hug could be a red flag.

Are you comfortable with him grabbing your bum?

If so, continue on, tonight will probably be fun.

If you are not comfortable with him grabbing your bum, this type of hug shows that he may not be able to pick up social cues or doesn’t respect boundaries.

In this case, make sure you bring his hand back to an appropriate place or express that you do not want him grabbing your bum.

If he respects this decision, a second date may be in place.

If he does not, he might ask you on a second date, but you might want to consider saying no.

 So, for the bum grab hug, context matters. 

In a healthy relationship, you should always feel comfortable and safe. 


When a Guy Hugs You From Behind

The final type of hug is when a guy hugs you from behind.

This type of hug can be incredibly romantic and means that he has some intense feelings for you.

This type of hug is not included in the first date hug list, because quite frankly if you are saying goodbye and have turned your back on him, a hug from behind would be creepy.

A hug from behind is definitely one meant for a deeper bond and shows that you are in the next stage of your relationship. 

When he hugs you from behind it is like an intimate surprise.

He saw you cooking dinner or brushing your teeth before bed, and something about you made him want to be near you.

This is why these hugs are usually unexpected, but also lovely. 

He’ll walk up behind you, wrap his arms around your waist, and nuzzle his head into your neck.

At this point, with this hug, you can assume that your relationship is becoming more intimate and he is excited about this development. 

This type of hug also shows that he may want to initiate more physicality in your relationship.

This could mean taking your relationship to another physical level and having sex for the first time.

If you have already established a sexual relationship, this type of hug might be his sign that he would love it if the two of you headed toward the bedroom. 

We have the hot tips on bedroom etiquette that you don’t want to miss here: how to keep your man happy in bed.

However, please remember, you never need to take things beyond where you feel comfortable.

Even if he wants a physical relationship, you should always have the right to say no whether it’s your first time or thousandth.

A good man will always respect your boundaries.  

Overall, if he is hugging you from behind, you can assume he has some big feelings about your relationship. 

Avoiding a Hug

So what if you don’t want a hug?

If you are in a pre-established relationship, this is a topic you should discuss with your partner.

Make sure your boundaries are clear and if he cares about you, he should respect you. 

However, a first date is more complicated.

He might want to hug you goodbye, but you might not be feeling a second date or you might just not like hugs.

Just like his body language is telling you what he is feeling, your body language is communicating something to him. 

If you don’t like hugs, but want to see him again.

When he initiates a hug, take a step back and set that boundary.

Tell him, “ I loved meeting you tonight, I would love to see you again, but I’m not a big hugger and it’s important you know that now.”

This will establish a boundary early on which will also create an opportunity to see if he will respect you and your body. 

If you are not planning to see him again, you can absolutely destroy any sexual chemistry with the simple distract method.

What is the “distract method”, other than awkward?

When a guy starts to go in for a hug, you point at something in the area and announce what it is.

This distracts the guy from hugging you, therefore helping avoid the hug, and also ends the date on an awkward note, which helps ensure there won’t be a second date. 

I once used this method and effectively deflected the attention of my date.

Standing in a museum parking lot after a night wandering our area’s downtown, he began to go in for a hug.

The museum had a biology exhibit featured that month with one of the displays very prominently lit up in the window. 

“Look at that elephant in the window!” I exclaimed. 

He did not hug me.

Mission accomplished. 

Spread the Hug

Overall, hugs are a great use of body language — especially when it comes to dating.

Whether you are analyzing a new fling’s behavior, beginning to understand a new relationship, or using a hug to express your own feelings, hugging is one of the most human ways to send a subliminal message. 

So go out, date around, and find the person you want to hug for the rest of your life.

Good luck, my friends!

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